Start the new year strong by crossing off what’s on your “ish” list; t’s one of the easiest ways to get unstuck.
What’s the ish? You stay close to shore, where the water is still and there’s an exit plan…just in case.
The new approach:
You know what they say about a ship in port…YOU were built for exploration; now it’s time to go EXPLORE.
Sometimes we’re so focused on staying inside the lines we’ve so carefully mapped for ourselves – inside our safe zones – that we associate that rocking boat with fear.
What if we weren’t so afraid? Imagine what we’d find if we ventured a little further out today; put on a sailor cap and head right for choppier seas?
How to start right now:
If you want to elevate your life, do something (anything!) you think you can’t.
That may cause anxiety and I won’t guarantee it will be a party every step of the way, but once you’ve pushed yourself beyond what you think is your limit, something shifts inside you. Some weird kind of unexplainable confidence propels you forward. And that’s when the magic starts happening.
(If you’ve been to camp and climbed those ropes, you know what I’m talking about, and I invite you to keep pushing yourself. If you haven’t, do something that scares you.Today. Don’t wait.)
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What’s the ish? You’ve made yourself so indispensable, you’ve locked yourself out of the life you wish you were living.
The new approach:
Get onboard with the concept that YOU rule your to-do, and not the other way around.
Who has time be spontaneous? You;ve gotta make the time, because no matter how often we clear out our inboxes, or scan our old photos, there will always be more piles, as opposed to meaningful moments, which are one-and-done.
How to start right now:
Disconnect and disappear (as in: don’t take your cell phone.) for 30 minutes every day.
Mark it as ME time on your calendar and treat it like an unbreakable meeting. Take a walk or a bath or some vinyasas or a glass of wine, or sit on a rock and meditate; whatever you do, step outside your routine and catch your breath. (If you’re wanting to make the case for why you can’t swing this for 30 minutes, listen to your excuses and remember there’s no Nobel Prize for Martyrdom!)
My daily treat? I pretend my to-do list is empty. That’s the only constant (delusional as it may be!); my activities rotate, allowing me to do whatever I feel like doing, guilt-free, for a half hour! And when it’s time to reconnect, I’m much more fun to be around, and I’m way more productive.
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What’s the ish? You love to be right…and you’re darn good at being the one who knows the answer.
The new approach:
Get vulnerable and share. Start to fight for your happiness more than you do for your righteousness It’s that simple.
What would happen if you loosened the grip on your grudges (even if just a little at a time) and said “sorry,” “I was wrong,” or “screw this; it doesn’t even matter where right and wrong fall?”
How to start right now:
The very next time you feel that tension in your chest or that noise in your head because someone (or everyone) is doing things in a way you would never do them…or saying something you think is absurd…or repeating the same “mistake”, notice how you jump in and “correct” that. Think: “how do I make people wrong?” and “when was the last time I was willing to go down gloriously for something I believe in? Did I really believe in it or did I just want to be right?” If you realize your “being right” actually doesn’t serve the overall goal (happiness)…gulp…apologize. It’s only two words and they can go a long way.
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What’s the ish? You don’t think you’re worth it.
The new approach:
Get over it. You are worth every bit of goodness that happens in your life; in fact, you are even responsible for creating and attracting it.
You’ll seek advice, tips, perspective on how to make life flow better, feel better, look better, be better; and have wide eyes about the new approaches you see, hear, collect; you’ll apply it all, kinda, and then bury it under the pile of other things you “need” to do…for everyone else. Every one of us is guilty of that, at one time or another.
We’d never break commitments with our partners, kids, friends the way we break them with ourselves! We’ll waste money on things we don’t need, then lowball what we’re willing to invest in the health and wellness of our souls.
Real talk: About ten days before each of our Campowerment Weekend Retreat commences, we’ll start hearing from women who — upon registration spill how desperately they need this weekend time-out — simply change their minds. And not just one or two of them; I’m talkin’ ten percent of them, every single time. Despite the Cancellation Policy that does not allow us to refund a Camper so close to a camp weekend, the same strange anxiety drives women to pop in with excuses. Granted, some are legit, but when we really listen for the common thread, it’s there: they don’t think they deserve to take that much time for themselves enough to actually take it!
When those who are trying to bail find out we can’t allow them to “do it another time when life slows down” (as if!), many would rather forfeit the cash than put themselves first and come out to play.
How to start right now:
The next time (and it should be today) you find something you want to do or try, do it, and with all of your power, show up for it, because enrolling in something and actually doing that thing are two entirely different experiences. Hear your fear, and perhaps even a little bit of narcissism (i.e. the ridiculous notion that your people can’t survive a few days without you) and act anyway! Think: “So what if my partner/kid eats Doritos for breakfast, lunch and dinner for a few days?” No one’s ever died from that! (I Googled it.)
We try to convince those last-minute backer-outters to surrender and show up even when they would rather not. Funny, those are usually the campers who, 20 minutes in, thank me profusely for “making“ them come” and leave so completely recharged, they couldn’t have ever imagined not being there. I don’t know too many women who are ever sorry they put their own desires first, for a change.
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Anything resonating here? I’m no Sociologist, but 15 camps and 2500 happy campers later, I am blown away by the frightening similarities among women, no matter who we are, what we do or where we come from.
We just want peace in our bellies (translation: a comfortable, drama- free life), deep and meaningful relationships with people we love, and to make our mark on this world, whatever that looks like.
Tammi
Chief Empowerment Officer