Bumble is buzzing right now. So is Match.com. Because everyone’s home, facing our own company (in every sense, right?). There’s no better time than right now to curb the loneliness that comes with this isolationism, and start your online dating game back up!
My brilliant life and love coach Marnie Handel Nir has always believed that virtual first dates are more efficient (and way less time consuming) than those awkward, in-person first dates.
Never mind the gasoline it saves and the germs it doesn’t spread.
Though I’m fairly new to this online dating thing, one of the rules Marnie insisted I adhere to when I started up again in January was this:
Once you’ve matched with someone you’re even a little bit interested in, and when the back and forth banter starts to heat up, before making plans to meet in person, invite “the intended” to do a live, meet and greet online.
Trust me, Marnie said, you’ll know in the first five minutes if the conversation is worth your time, if there’s any chemistry, or even a teeny spark.. And, I have learned, if you ask for a virtual date kindly, and call it a pre-req to the actual date, AND they’re legit, most will be happy to oblige.
So when I got to Philadelphia for part one of my Eat, Pray, Love journey, I tried online dating Marnie’s way. I did a lot of swiping and after two or three exchanges on the app, when the guys asked for my number, I got brave and instead asked them each out on a FaceTime date. The ones who didn’t want that got tossed into the NO pile. The rest, I set up back to back.
The best part? I only had to do my hair once.
And, honestly, it was fun. It got me back in the dating mindset, until the whole world shifted into the COVID-19 mindset. And now that my freezer is full and my family is prepared to hunker down for what could be a while (for which I am very thankful, by the way), I’ve got plenty of free time, and I’m out of excuses (again). So I’m ready to start dating again…from my couch!
I invite you to join me…starting today.
It’s been said that William Shakespeare lost two siblings to the Bubonic Plague in the early 1600s, and holed himself up for more than a year, writing King Lear and other masterpieces we’ve continued to enjoy, for centuries.
Nearly 65 years after that, a 23-year-old kid named Isaac Newton, made social distancing work for all of us. While quarantined due to a widespread virus that nearly wiped out the population of Cambridge, he developed a handful of scientific theories that are still useful today – among them: calculus.
Compared to what came out of that kind of isolation, finding a partner seems pretty simple, don’t you think?
If it’s love you’re looking for, then get off Facebook and onto the apps, pronto!
- Update your profile to share your true authentic self, sans the B.S. you used to use to describe yourself. Share what you are really looking for, and be honest about who you are. Be pithy. Stand out. And make it clear that you’re not looking to meet anyone in person right now, but rather, inviting them to join you via FaceTime or even WhatsApp for a 10-minute date, from the comfort of your own cabin.
- Line up a few dates, back to back each day. (Bonus: you don’t even have to wash your hands in between…)
- Do your hair, make yourself feel awesome about how you’re showing up, and put on a brightly colored shirt.
- Be prepared to ask fun questions and answer them yourself. Create a quiz about things you’re curious about, beginning with easy questions like these, or clever ones: if you found $300 on the ground (in a time that it was safe to touch the things you found without gloves on), what would you do with it?!
Get creative. Show your lighter side. Invite potential prospects to pass the time playing that game with you for ten minutes and see if it goes anywhere.
- After each virtual “date,” take a few minutes to journal about each one, to remind you of what you are learning about people. (Otherwise, it will all feel like a giant blur.)
Some will bomb. Others might really be awesome. All are undoubtedly great practice as you become an expert at being YOU in every scenario. Maybe there’s even a book somewhere in there?
Lo and behold, you might actually get to know (really know!) some interesting people this way. And let the excitement build, waiting for this quarantine to lift, to see if the chemistry is real life.
It could be an eye opening experiment that beats watching “Love Is Blind” (again…). Happy love hunting!