My ex mother in law had a funny take on gratitude…explaining that it lives exactly where perspective does, often reminding us that if everyone took their shoes off and threw them in the middle of a circle, once we learned of the path others are walking, we’d all take back our own shoes and go home.
At Classic Camp last month, Chelsea took that concept and ran with it. As she and I crafted the strategy for fun & games at camp (yes: that’s a thing!), to help guide the emotional arc of this retreat, we thought about what we really wanted the night 1 ice-melting game to accomplish.
Knowing that, by the end of camp, every one of us present would know (really know) that, no matter what we’re living through, we’re not alone…and that telling someone that is not anywhere near as sticky and powerful as allowing them to see and feel it for themselves, we invented a game: “Me Shoe!”
The goal: to learn more about each other, to laugh and get into an uninhibited mindset, to trust you can keep letting go here!
We broke into groups, and began to share some “must-knows” about ourselves. As each player shared, their game mates would listen for a connection or commonality with any life experience of their own. Where there was a connection, a game mate would call out, “Me Shoe!” (get it? Like “me too!”) and share the connection point out loud. After they’d share, they’d take off one shoe and put it in the center of the circle.
The winning team? The first where everyone has at least one shoe in the circle. The experience was wild: so many commonalities, tons of hilarious or jaw-dropping stories. Mostly, no two were alike, but many struck a similar chord. All helped us step outside of ourselves for a moment, to allow us to begin to really see who was among us, what they may be going through and how much we have to learn from each other.
Perspective: That, I believe, has been camp’s biggest gift.
Among the nearly 140 incredible women in that game that night were Jackie Toth and Laurie White, two campers who’ve left indelible marks in this community.
They have both been campers here for years, in and out; have both bared their hearts and souls online in this community; and this time, each almost didn’t make it to camp, for the reasons life throws, ya know? But they did what they needed to, made it a priority and showed up BIG, and contributed big to the magic of this sisterhood.
I want to share their post-camp stories, for perspective today:
Jackie’s Return to Asheville
Jackie, a fifth-time camper this time, moved a couple years ago to Asheville, NC to start a new chapter in life as her fully-expressed self. Shortly thereafter, with a new mortgage in tow, she was laid off from her marketing executive role and has since been unemployed, picking up freelance gigs of meaning and taking the opportunity to be of service to her new, accepting and abundant Asheville community.
Jackie told us she was wanting to come to this year’s retreat, because, “I know the power this community holds and right now I really need my community to help me get my groove back….I also hope to be a camper that another camper who needs cheering, support, and/or friend wants to reach out to throughout the weekend and beyond.”
She dug in, got that groove back, and poured into so many other women’s cups. And she returned to Asheville with new ideas and motivation brewing!
And then, without warning, Hurricane Helene blew in, washing away life as Jackie was just beginning to know it.
Jackie got lucky. She’s OK, and while she had no running water and food was scarce for 20 days – and won’t have drinkable water until mid-December, her home is still standing…and she’s not leaving…helping out where she can: volunteering at a local food/water distribution site.
And when Jackie showed up last week to two of our online programs, wanting to connect, some of her camp peeps showed up for her again…jumping at the chance to help her get back on her feet, via Venmo (@Jacquelyn-Toth).
“I walked out of a studio-donated yoga class to find this deluge of generosity flowing into my phone. This will go a long way towards helping me get these much-needed supplies…This community has me in awe.”
Laurie’s “Good Leg”
Before last month, Laurie, a Royal Canadian Police Officer who lost her leg decades ago in a domestic violence raid, had not been back to camp in ten years. But hearing it was our last, she came, only weeks after melanoma surgery in her “good leg,” bringing with her some uneasiness over the physicality and travel et al.
When Laurie got to camp, she still didn’t know if that cancer had spread. But she chose to take the time at camp to be as present as she could be, and make the most of this gift of time. And wouldn’t you know it: Laurie climbed to the top of that 30 foot pole again, with her good leg full of stitches. a whole decade older than she was the last time she did that, as her people, new and old, cheered her on from the ground.
Laurie went home with her heart full, and a GOAT (Greatest of All Time) trophy in hand, as our final Campowerment Weekend Warrior. She felt on top of the world!
Less than a week later, we got this email from her:
“Last Monday I was basking in the glow that ONLY Camp provides…this Monday I’m in the hospital recovering from surgery yesterday. I took a fall on Friday night and badly broke my femur on my right/amputated side. Holy f*ck!
Anyway – my current situation takes nothing away from my camp experience and it’s certainly factoring into why I’m coping so well with this new nonsense.”
A few days after that, we got this update: “…After a stressful 9.5 frigging-week wait post-surgery, my melanoma pathology showed the margins on my left calf appear to be clear…”
Talk about perspective…
Let’s Get Real
Jackie’s community is still in really rough shape, at the same time that she continues her job search.
And Laurie’s mobility is improving (woo!) but she’s stuck home, healing but far more isolated than she imagined she would be this season. (If you know Laurie and want to send her a love note, write us; we’ll relay.)
But they both know they don’t have to go through life’s tough stuff alone.
Life happens and the other shoe will eventually drop. When it does, grab it from the center of the circle, put it on.
And be sure that whatever path you’re on, you call on your people to walk with you.
That, my friends, is how community runs. 👟😉